Wednesday, September 19, 2018

My sweet and smart toddler

I feel the need to write these down, even randomly even without form, for my own benefit. So I can remember years from now.

My little one, now 2.5 years old, is really sweet & smart. I’m really one proud momma just like his grandparents & titas.

SWEETNESS
I was wiping him dry after bath time awhile ago. He smiled then said, “PD (his nickname) happy coz mommy’s not angry.” I was not angry at all. I was not even reprimanding him softly for anything. I think he was just really happy that I gave him so many smiles this day. Note to self: Smile more and more for your child. I do give him praises, but I don’t overdo it, but a warm smile from me seems to mean a lot more to him.

 Recently, he would make this “nagmamakaawa” face but not really to get pity or sympathy so he could run free and get his whims, but I guess, to really get empathy. He does this face every time he sees mommy or daddy feeling disappointed that he is not obeying deliberately. Even though we are not really saying anything, but a little heave of sigh or deadpan look from me, he knows we are a bit disappointed. Then he puts up this face, makes sure we see it, sometimes with miniscule tears if he feels hurt. The result is win win, actually. Parents smile, he asks it sometimes right after he showed us the face, he gets what he wants (e.g. more minutes to play or watch youtube before brushing, bath time, sleeping, etc.). And sometimes, he obeys us right away, especially when he knows we’ve given him extension already. Warms my heart really. 

Another sweet gesture of this boy is the need to get hugs. He is often hugged & kissed that sometimes he will wipe off his cheeks as if to erase the kiss when he feels he’s not up for it or he’s busy on something.
But sometimes, he will just ask for it, “Hug mommy.” “hugs daddy please.” Also, when I cannot breastfeed him (this boy still breastfeeds when he wants to sleep), 
he asks for hugs instead. Sometimes my back hurts coz of wrong sleep position, then gently, daddy will tell him, “sorry anak mommy’s back has ouchie.” He listens to this even when he’s so sleepy & maybe just wants to breastfeed again to pacify and get back to sleep, then he’ll say, “hug na lng, hug.” And when I hear that, it’s as if my back can just take all the pain at once, just to give this boy what he needs.

And many more sweetness of this boy.  Sometimes, he will caution mommy or daddy when he knows it’s not safe to do something like touching hot pans. “Be careful walk, mommy, be careful,” he once told me when we were walking at a hiking trail in Norway. I thought he was just mimicking what we told him be careful when you walk, watch your step. But I was touched when he looked at the stones and twigs at the uneven pathway, then he looked back to see how I was doing. Such a sweet lad really. 

SMART ONE
As proud mommy, I can go on & on raving about how he is able to read some words now (sometimes using phonics & sometimes sight words) how he is always at least a few months ahead of expected milestones from him, colors, numbers, alphabet, etc. But before he turned one, I stopped marking all the milestones and making a list, as I couldn’t keep up anymore. 

I think he is smart coz he is a visual person, he remembers visually the details. And he somehow, remembers also auditory details. We are amazed at how he sometimes can name that tune in a few notes, he knows what song is playing in just a few notes (beating daddy twice) & he can memorize the lyrics of even fast worship songs without anyone teaching him. Even our music minister noticed before that when he was still a baby, probably less than 8 months old, that he was bobbing his head exactly right to the beat of music blaring from a restaurant speaker. 

But anyhow, so much of this kind of IQ, smartness. There’s one incident that I’m most proud of, one that showed emotional intelligence. And I think it matters most if I want him to really succeed in life. This incident also happened in Norway. He was playing at the slides when twin girls came to play at an alligator climb play area. He was excited to interact & play with them. Then one girl, probably his age, shooed him away. At first, he was deadpan, ignored & just went back to his slide. But he tried again. At 2nd attempt, this protective girl or territorial toddler, shooed him again. Then he paused, stared for awhile, then he remembered what we taught him: when he feel like hitting other people out of anger, hit his own hand instead. And boy, he did that, and it was a loud clap with gritted teeth & very serious face. The territorial protective girl with a loud voice did say something again but now with a softer voice, more like murmur to me. At that point, I’m feeling all things for my li’l boy, and pitying him was the last. I found it a bit funny but mostly proud that he remembered & can control his own emotions. That was not the end of story. After clapping that loud probably to the surprise of the lil girl, he went back to his slide area. But then, after a few minutes passed, I decided to check on him coz I didn’t see him slide again at all. He was kinda hiding in a corner but with an upset, angry look. I thought he was upset at me coz I was egging him to stand up & not slouch on that dirty (not really dirty, i’m just OC) corner. Oh but then I realized & asked him in our vernacular so the mommy of the twins can’t understand me, “oh you are sad that they don’t want to play with you?” And immediately, his upset face did turn to a really sad, hurt one. At that point, I want to act silly like a child & approach that girl. But I got hold of myself, told him to go again, tell them sharing is good, if they don’t want, then fight them (haha, my hubby reprimanded me for this later on saying I should not teach him to be offensive if he is not being hurt physically). Then his face brightened, nodded, and got up immediately. But at this point, the girls were already leaving, so he got the big playground entirely to himself again. 

My point is, I’m proud that my 2-year-old boy can process feelings, manage his own emotions, sort out the situation, this early. I’m a bit worried that he may end up too forgiving in a harsh world that’s becoming harsher every year, that he may end up being bullied in the years to come. My hubby has this to say: “Don’t worry, defensive rin sya.” Oh yeah, how can I forget, when some kids in the church keep on following his every step, playing but as if to taunt him, or some bigger older kid at the mall who has the tendency to pick on slim cutey like him, he will not back down. He won’t take a few steps back, not one, or look away. He will stare, waiting; and if the kid is obnoxious to taunt again, he will just push, push with the strength of the Solomon (now that’s an overstatement from a protective momma hihi). 

That’s it for now. 
But this entry will surely put a smile on my face when I read it back years from now. For now, my little one truly warms my heart. 

Thank You Lord for people who prayed for us to have a child. We didn’t ask you, but they did, and you heard them. Little did I know, a child can fill my heart with joy and so much love.

I didn’t know I had this huge space in my heart to love a little soul. 


























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