Friday, June 4, 2010

The red couch and the lady

In a posh furniture shop where modern pieces are the boarders…

Red couch: (excited) Hey Mr.Pale, I’m leaving this place any time soon.
Mr. Pale Couch: (poker-faced) Oh yeah.
Red couch: I know that look on the lady’s face, she likes me! Those who adopted my siblings have the same curious eyes. My siblings are colored black and brown, but they are head-turners. What more for someone like me who has flushed cheeks, auburn hair, and rosy glowing skin? Right?!
MPC: (deadpan). Whatever. Don’t be such a snooty.
RC: Can’t help it, I need to convince myself I look good. I’m dying to leave this place, I’m so bored here. I feel useless. I feel like we’re just gonna grow old and dusty here.
MPC: Uh-huh.
RC: I must admit my skin doesn’t look too flawless anymore, I have a few scratches here and there already. But I hope they don’t notice them. Oh well, here comes the lady again with her husband. I’ll keep my mouth shut and sit still now.

Lady: This red couch is nice. It matches the two red chairs we have on our dining table.
Hubby: It’s too red…
Lady: That’s the idea.
Shop manager: It’s actually a sofa bed, ma’am.
Lady: Oh that’s great. It doesn’t look like it. Unlike other sofa beds where metal frames are conspicuous, this seems just like an ordinary couch.
Hubby: Quite small for a sofa bed.
Shop manager: Not really sir. (proceeds to transform it to a bed). It even has a discreet magazine rack on its arms.
Lady: (gasps) Wow, even better.
Hubby: Yeah. But how come it only has 1 arm rest?
Shop manager: Sir, because the other side can be used to attach this leather stool to serve as an extension of the sofa bed. Actually, in the middle of this couch, there’s an arm rest or mini table (proceeds to demo again).

Lady: Nice. It’s as if we have 2-piece sofa set.
Hubby: But that looks weird, only one end of the couch has an arm rest.
Shop manager: You can swap the arm rest to the other side.
Hubby: (not really impressed) Oh. Do you have a measuring tape?
Lady: We’ll just see if it can fit in our pad.

After several measurements here and there…

Hubby: It fits.
Lady: So how much is this couch?
Shop manager: 29K+ + +… but it’s part of the sale, you get 30% discount for this.
Lady: Too steep.
Hubby: Yeah, for a sofa bed, that’s expensive. (looks around) How about this beige sofa bed? I think this is even more spacious than the red couch. The color doesn’t look loud.

The couple looks all over the place again.

Lady to shop manager: We haven’t decided on anything yet. We’ll look in other shops too. Maybe we’ll come back later.

Red couch: Oh no, the hubby likes you better than me!
Mr. Pale: (suddenly interested) I know and I’m sure it’s the husband who has the last say because he’ll be the one paying for me. So, I bet I’m gonna say goodbye to you first.
RC: Bummer!

After an hour…

Lady: You know, I still prefer the red couch. It’s a bit expensive than other sofa beds and recliners but it’s multifunctional. It has…. (yakity-yak-yak)
Hubby: OK, let’s go back and buy it.
Lady: Yay!

Back at the store…

Lady: We’ll buy this. Do you have a new stock?
Hubby: Do you have black or beige couch like this?
Shop manager: Sir, ma’am, it’s the last piece. I already checked with our other branches.
Lady: Yaiks. I don’t like buying the last piece.
Hubby: Maybe let’s opt for the bigger beige couch.
Lady: Uhmnn, no. Hey, give us a higher discount, like 50% off, it’s the last piece plus I saw a tiny scratch over there.
Shop manager: I’m afraid that’s not possible ma’am, this is on sale already.
Lady: C’mon, talk to the owner first. Isn’t the lady over there the owner?
Shop manager: No, ma’am, but she’s my boss. I’ll ask her. Wait.

After a minute…

Shop manager: Sorry, ma’am, but we can only give you 5% off more, so that's 35% off from regular price.
Lady: (facing husband) What do you think? Your credit card or mine?
Hubby: Ok, ok. Charge it to my credit card.

RC: So long, Mr. Pale Couch.
MPC: Crap! Don’t rejoice too soon.

After a few months... in the new home of the red couch…

RC: I feel ugly. Why do these little dust and dirt keep on sticking to me? I was cleaned three days ago, but look at me now.
Lady: (frustrated) I thought this WipeOut is supposed to remove the stains and different forms of dirt on leather. But so far, it’s only making the couch shiny, but the small dark spots are still there.
Hubby: I remember telling you that a leather couch is more difficult to maintain.
Lady: (sighs) And what am I gonna do with this ballpen ink stain?

So the lady is googling now to know what kind of cleaning agent should work best for the red leather couch.

So far, I’ve got cologne, alcohol, metal hydrate solution (??) and sunblock. But I’m afraid to try any of these on the beloved red couch. Sighs. Will google for more insights.


G said...

now I know what to bring you come end of june wahahaha

G said...

If you cant wait for me, the hubby has this advice to give: "soak the spot with liquid soap, leave it then wipe it off later (mga 3 hours)." -take it from the guy, he does that nearly every week ;)

caution ko lang : better wait for me

misis said...

yay, i don't want it to get discolored. might be a major disaster, hubby might kill me, haha. i'll be more than willing to wait for you!
btw, do you know how to clean leather chairs that have tiny perforated-like designs? I mean, they're not really holes, but they have very tiny circles. whenever i wipe it with water or Wipeout solution, it gets cleaned and a bit shiny but there are marks left on it.